Last night was really weird for me, I was mostly quiet during this entire DT “scam” and her extremely shameful claim to fame because I didn’t want to deal with another highly misinformed and disrespectful human being. But then I went and thought about it, and realised that it was impossible for her to have unintentionally ignored the prejudices and issues that privileged women like us face, because well, she is one of us. So last night I made a list of the misogynistic crap that most of my female peers have to deal with, despite living in cities. ( Disclaimer: Our problems are not even a speck compared to what women across the world and in rural areas face, and comparing our situation to theirs would be highly disrespectful to their grievances. But keeping that in mind, I thought that’s it’s still very important to bring attention to the crap still happening in urban cities). So, here are 50 ways privileged women living in urban areas still face patriarchy and misogyny :
1) Most of my female peers are not allowed to stay out beyond a very strict curfew, unlike most of my male peers.
2) We are not allowed to step out alone (not talking about apartment complexes), unlike most of my male peers.
3) We are slut shamed on the basis of our clothing choices, by our family and the authorities in schools, colleges, etc.
4) Women are expected to want to become a mother, and shamed for not wanting to experience motherhood.
5) They are not given the recognition they deserve in important fields such as sports and technology.
6) We are expected to be more well behaved and homely than our male peers, and know how to do household chores, because well, we’re females.
7) We’re shamed for being feminine, because apparently embracing your femininity is a sin (you run like a girl!! *insert condescending laughter*) OR shamed for not being feminine enough.
8) Women are not allowed to breastfeed in public, and have to often resort to breastfeeding their babies in dirty places such as public washrooms.
9) Fathers are way less likely to take care of their babies even if the mother is working, and them taking equal care of the baby, is thought of as a great achievement. * Beta, sperm tumhara hi hai! Shocking, is it?*
10)When the child does something rebellious or wrong, it is more likely for the mother to be blamed by the society/ her own family.
11) Various restrictions and conditions on women joining the armed forces.
12) Women are told to sit in a certain way. ( “Do not spread your legs when you sit, beta!”)
13) Instances of patriarchy and misogyny are deeply rooted in our families, when the male members of the family are given more respect and control with and/or without asking.
14) Women often have to ask permission from their male guardians / significant others for the decisions they’re making (“I gave my wife permission to work.” *wOw, what a great man you are*) , while a lot of men are not expected to be held accountable to their female partners.
15) A girl is expected to be more mature and responsible than the boys her age.
16) Stark difference in salary between men and women in almost every industry.
17) Females have to face differents forms of sexual harassment everyday on the streets.
18) Women are shamed for embracing their sexual desires, and are called various humiliating names.
19) When a man has been with several women he’s famed as a playboy/ Casanova, while a woman is labeled a slut.
20)A wife is expected to consider her husband’s family as her own (or even above), even if he doesn’t have the same regard or love for her family.
21) Women are shamed for not wanting to live with their in laws after marriage.
22) Females are shamed for not maintaining the house, even if both of the spouses are working.
23) Creepy DMs and pictures
24) Women are pitted against each other, and female friendships are not given the regard they deserve.
25) Men often use physical intimidation tactics in verbal fights against women ( entering her personal space, using your larger body to your advantage).
26) Their male peers are often give more preference in jobs even if they hold the same qualifications.
27) Menstruation is still a taboo.
28) Parents being overtly protective of their female child, while giving a considerably large amount of freedom to their male child.
29) Women are shamed for only having female friends
30) Shamed for having male friends
31)Women are expected to go out at night only if they have a male companion to act as their bodyguard.
32)They are shamed for being bold,and not quiet and demure.
33) Women are expected to balance both their careers and their family, while it is okay for men to prioritize their careers.
34) Women are mostly complimented for their looks, and the way their body is shaped, is often given more importance to than their heart and/or intellect.
35) Women are given away by their fathers in marriage ceremonies.
36) They are expected to adorn all the signs of being a married woman (16 SHRINGAAR)
37) POCKETS
38) Women are portrayed as props in movies. Although, we now have some really impactful female led movies, baaki sab mein they’re still showpieces. *Indian cinema for the win, people!!!*
39) Using abuses like bhenchod, motherfucker, etc. NOTE: If you’re a feminist and you do it too, then you’re adding to the never ending pile of misogyny, remember that 🙂 .
40) Oh! Let’s not forget how women are portrayed as stupid and demure in Indian soap operas. *And pati pujaarans too, of course*
41) Have you ever listened to the seven vows in a Hindu marriage ceremony? If you haven’t, please go and listen to them now. (THE ACTUAL HINDI VOWS, AND NOT THE MELLOWED DOWN ENGLISH VERSIONS ON THE INTERNET.)
42) Sexist husband-wife jokes. Your dad cracks them too 🙂 , and If he doesn’t, then http://www.godaddy.com .
43) The pro-life movement (you care more about a clump of cells than an actual living-breathing woman. WOW.).
44) YOU’RE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS. YOU’RE A WOMAN AND A GOOD DRIVER? WOW * earth shattering sounds*
45) The notion of an alpha woman is still unacceptable in society, and being headstrong is looked down upon. * an alpha woman isn’t as attractive as an alpha male, is she? *
46) Women are expected to comprise in marriages ( yes, it still happens. I’ve even heard it myself, and not ones but numerous times). Also, having to change our title to Mrs. Kyun? Tumhaari abbreviation toh abhi bhi Mr hai. Oh! Let’s not forget the ‘surname changing’ concept.
47) Using male pronouns is the general norm and using male specific titles is way more normalised.
48) Unsolicited beauty advice * nahi chahiye tumhare beautytips, thank you *
49) Our entire freaking race is named after your kind:
HuMANs, MANkind, MAN and wife, HuMANity
* AB HUM BOLE? * (sounds familiar, doesn’t it 😉 )
50) Having to list first our father’s details over our mother’s before marriage and then the husband’s name after marriage in official documents such as passports (while a man doesn’t have to change it to his wife’s name after marriage).
If you have actually gotten to this point without skipping through the article, then I’m proud of you. And if you haven’t then please go through every freaking point. THIS IS WHY WE NEED FEMINISM IN IT’S TRUE SENSE. SO JUST ONE REQUEST- REALISE, ANALYSE, AND EMPATHIZE.
Disclaimer- All the comments written in asterisks are completely sarcastic in nature. This disclaimer is just for the one percent of the population that doesn’t get sarcasm or chooses to completely to ignore it.
The Vivid Gypsy 